Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
I posted earlier about my Niece and her family as inspirations and reassurance of the good in people. I don't think I (ever??) qualify as a pessimist about people. I very firmly believe that people are basically good and mean well. The thoughts of my Niece and how she and her family are similar to my deceased sister led me to the thoughts of this blog.
The boiled down version that goes through between my ears is. If you don't have friends and/or family that inspire you by THEIR goodness. There probably is something wrong with YOU.
Certainly there may be some people that their friends and family do good, kind, nice things only in traditional, "normal" ways and settings. Absolutely nothing wrong with doing that and having friends that act that way. However, IMO if there isn't someone or more telling, more than one person that goes out of their way and performs "random acts of kindness" as pretty much a common act (for THEM). Then maybe there is a lacking in the group. I'd propose that inspiration is what is lacking.
From personal experience and observation. I'd say those people that seem to DAILY go out of their way (though for them it isn't varying from their own norm) create a desire in others to at least try to do similar acts. I've been fortunate. I've been married to two women, had two sisters (one is deceased), two Sons, and two good friends that all set the criteria bar for the description of a "good person", pretty damn high.
Each of these people have (in the past) and continue to inspire me to try and emulate their actions and impact of creating good that is passed along repeatedly. As I said, I recognize that I've been fortunate. I can NOT imagine or comprehend a life without at least one person like them. My mind does repeat that if there were/is a life circle that doesn't have at least one of those inspirations. Then at least a part of the lacking MUST come from each and every person in that circle.
MY PERSPECTIVE!!
The boiled down version that goes through between my ears is. If you don't have friends and/or family that inspire you by THEIR goodness. There probably is something wrong with YOU.
Certainly there may be some people that their friends and family do good, kind, nice things only in traditional, "normal" ways and settings. Absolutely nothing wrong with doing that and having friends that act that way. However, IMO if there isn't someone or more telling, more than one person that goes out of their way and performs "random acts of kindness" as pretty much a common act (for THEM). Then maybe there is a lacking in the group. I'd propose that inspiration is what is lacking.
From personal experience and observation. I'd say those people that seem to DAILY go out of their way (though for them it isn't varying from their own norm) create a desire in others to at least try to do similar acts. I've been fortunate. I've been married to two women, had two sisters (one is deceased), two Sons, and two good friends that all set the criteria bar for the description of a "good person", pretty damn high.
Each of these people have (in the past) and continue to inspire me to try and emulate their actions and impact of creating good that is passed along repeatedly. As I said, I recognize that I've been fortunate. I can NOT imagine or comprehend a life without at least one person like them. My mind does repeat that if there were/is a life circle that doesn't have at least one of those inspirations. Then at least a part of the lacking MUST come from each and every person in that circle.
MY PERSPECTIVE!!
I'm
thankful for: THOSE PEOPLE WHO RENEW MY FAITH IN MANKIND!!
12/15/2013
This morning I laid back down and my thoughts went to a Niece and
her family. That led to wishing that my Sister was able to sit with
me so that I could tell HER about her Daughter, Son in Law and
GrandSon. My sister, her husband, their daughter and HER family
renew MY faith in people.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
I'm
thankful for: THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE REAL
12-14-2013
This evening I will be real to some members of a church. While I
don't think I'm good at the close up, on the lap contacts. I've
been asked back for the second year and it was stated “by name”.
In ten days is the evening that IMO I really, really become real.
Fifth or sixth year and I don't have words to describe the pleasure
and/or how much it means to be real.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
I started using this blog idea, partly because a High School classmate suggested it (thanx Linda). Also partly because like many others, as I've aged I feel almost compelled and have a deep desire to pass along/share/impart "my wisdom" or "what I've learned" from life's journey on the paths I've taken.
I seldom do ANYTHING for just one reason. Sometimes I don't know ALL the reasons. I learned to reflect and sort that concept out while instructing new Controllers in the FAA. Sometimes they'd ask why I'd done something, and as I attempted to explain fully (so they could learn and/or evaluate from MY actions) I realized and recognized that very, very often a person that "knows" their job has to spend a great deal of time to identify the steps they go through for complex actions or thoughts they perform. That same idea is true for all of us, IMO. We do things that are "part of us", but what all goes to form that part or whole is overshadowed or lost without an awful lot of effort taken to recognize it. My word for the process of sorting things out is "reflecting". I do that as I seek to understand external things as well as internal to myself. The phrase often used is, "what really happened here". I seek to try and find out.
I've spent considerable time doing that process as I sought to sort out the input I received and my reaction to that input. The input was about my intent to continue walking in the area of considerable stressors. Mostly I received input from three sources. One was an immediate family member, one is biological family but somewhat distant and the third is a friend that I view as family. Obviously the common denominator there is family. That concept itself brought reflection.
I'm going to briefly state the idea of family as I see it in reference to my pets. I do NOT consider my dogs as children, surrogate or actual. Children are humans, my dogs are not human but they certainly ARE part of my family. Like any other and each member of my family the dogs have personalities that have (to me) endearing and bothersome characteristics. I love the whole.
The first person that gave me input, mentioned an idea that he sought and also recognized my characteristic of doing what I think is correct. I simply don't have the ability to express how much I value that input and what I think it means about the relationship of mutual respect.
The second person provided personal opinion and perspective. Also clarifying by example "family traits". Those traits were/are expressed about the men in my family. Of course the men don't have exclusive use of those traits but it IS accurate to use the men to illustrate them. I've known that I possess those characteristics and I think more than most people, I recognize them as both good and/or bad depending on perspective and individual circumstance. I don't mean to imply that in the input given was that the family characteristics were portrayed ONLY as a negative. However I got the impression the effect on others was seen (accurately I think) as a negative or at least as causing problems for others. Again I don't have the ability to express the level of gratitude I have for the input and the manner it was expressed and given. The candor and perspective is exactly what I sought when I asked for input.
That last sentence is also true for the third person providing input to me. While not a biological member of my family. Also NOT a member of my "Military Brothers" or aka Brother as I refer to them. Regardless, the friend that I talked to via telephone IS my Brother. That term is used (by me and others) to imply or state a bond of mutual respect and caring. It certainly meets that criteria from my seat in this case. Hopefully the reader gets a feel for how strongly I value the input from this person as well as the other two.
The input from the third person created some threads of thought for me that were extremely provocative in that they made me challenge myself as well as my perspectives (of a number of things). During the phone conversation I was asked how I could take risks. The risks mentioned were for the safety of WayVer and Willie as well as myself. It was plainly stated "it's not worth the risks" and "you're NOT defending Democracy". As I listened, my thoughts were "YES IT IS!!" to both. My Brother also said, "How can you...." and my thoughts were "How can YOU NOT" and "How can you not know that I must". I have to emphasize how much I appreciated the views and candor from my friend/Brother. He and I have known and stated that while we disagree sometimes, we never lose respect for the other (though we "know" the other is "wrong"). The phone call gave me reason to reflect on many, many things. This blog is the result of only one of those things.
FAMILY!! The three people giving me input were family members. The first two were biological, and illustrate "family characteristics". The third person is as much family in my mind as he would be had he been a blood relative, maybe more. He also brought to the fore of my thoughts the characteristics of my family members from my military experiences. THAT is the point of this long blog. The characteristics that my military brothers and I share are just as strong and similar within us. As those from my biological family. The input from my Son, reflected our mutual respect and valuing of the knowledge of each other and our individual ways. The input from my cousin, illustrated that our family characteristics cross generations and the connections that may seem to have been lost. Those characteristics are shared regardless of time and distance. The input from my classmate Brother, showed mutual respect and love. At the same time, those inputs addressed an ongoing stressor for me, they also clarified for me some of the bonding that has occurred in my Combat Control related family members. The love, respect, characteristics and all the things that are included and shared in biological families is also part of non biological families regardless of how those non bio families bond. In mine it's from CCT, in some it's because of Gang Membership, in some it's other bonding connections. I think it's important for people to understand that as in biological families there are unique bonds that may appear deeper and/or less or weaker between individual members within non biological families. I've long known or realized that the bond I have with some of "my military Brothers" is at least as strong and often stronger than the bond I feel with some of my biological family members. In both cases, each person has a "full glass" of membership and bond to start. In both cases that bond may weaken by individual action and/or perception, but they remain "family". For Roger, simply being "family" is NEVER to be taken for granted. In my little world, family members ALWAYS maintain mutual respect AND WORK AT IT!! When either person loses or takes for granted that respect, those bonds are weakened so as to seem to have disappeared and BOTH sides must agree to attempts to rebuild. Family is family and always, always depends on perspective.
I seldom do ANYTHING for just one reason. Sometimes I don't know ALL the reasons. I learned to reflect and sort that concept out while instructing new Controllers in the FAA. Sometimes they'd ask why I'd done something, and as I attempted to explain fully (so they could learn and/or evaluate from MY actions) I realized and recognized that very, very often a person that "knows" their job has to spend a great deal of time to identify the steps they go through for complex actions or thoughts they perform. That same idea is true for all of us, IMO. We do things that are "part of us", but what all goes to form that part or whole is overshadowed or lost without an awful lot of effort taken to recognize it. My word for the process of sorting things out is "reflecting". I do that as I seek to understand external things as well as internal to myself. The phrase often used is, "what really happened here". I seek to try and find out.
I've spent considerable time doing that process as I sought to sort out the input I received and my reaction to that input. The input was about my intent to continue walking in the area of considerable stressors. Mostly I received input from three sources. One was an immediate family member, one is biological family but somewhat distant and the third is a friend that I view as family. Obviously the common denominator there is family. That concept itself brought reflection.
I'm going to briefly state the idea of family as I see it in reference to my pets. I do NOT consider my dogs as children, surrogate or actual. Children are humans, my dogs are not human but they certainly ARE part of my family. Like any other and each member of my family the dogs have personalities that have (to me) endearing and bothersome characteristics. I love the whole.
The first person that gave me input, mentioned an idea that he sought and also recognized my characteristic of doing what I think is correct. I simply don't have the ability to express how much I value that input and what I think it means about the relationship of mutual respect.
The second person provided personal opinion and perspective. Also clarifying by example "family traits". Those traits were/are expressed about the men in my family. Of course the men don't have exclusive use of those traits but it IS accurate to use the men to illustrate them. I've known that I possess those characteristics and I think more than most people, I recognize them as both good and/or bad depending on perspective and individual circumstance. I don't mean to imply that in the input given was that the family characteristics were portrayed ONLY as a negative. However I got the impression the effect on others was seen (accurately I think) as a negative or at least as causing problems for others. Again I don't have the ability to express the level of gratitude I have for the input and the manner it was expressed and given. The candor and perspective is exactly what I sought when I asked for input.
That last sentence is also true for the third person providing input to me. While not a biological member of my family. Also NOT a member of my "Military Brothers" or aka Brother as I refer to them. Regardless, the friend that I talked to via telephone IS my Brother. That term is used (by me and others) to imply or state a bond of mutual respect and caring. It certainly meets that criteria from my seat in this case. Hopefully the reader gets a feel for how strongly I value the input from this person as well as the other two.
The input from the third person created some threads of thought for me that were extremely provocative in that they made me challenge myself as well as my perspectives (of a number of things). During the phone conversation I was asked how I could take risks. The risks mentioned were for the safety of WayVer and Willie as well as myself. It was plainly stated "it's not worth the risks" and "you're NOT defending Democracy". As I listened, my thoughts were "YES IT IS!!" to both. My Brother also said, "How can you...." and my thoughts were "How can YOU NOT" and "How can you not know that I must". I have to emphasize how much I appreciated the views and candor from my friend/Brother. He and I have known and stated that while we disagree sometimes, we never lose respect for the other (though we "know" the other is "wrong"). The phone call gave me reason to reflect on many, many things. This blog is the result of only one of those things.
FAMILY!! The three people giving me input were family members. The first two were biological, and illustrate "family characteristics". The third person is as much family in my mind as he would be had he been a blood relative, maybe more. He also brought to the fore of my thoughts the characteristics of my family members from my military experiences. THAT is the point of this long blog. The characteristics that my military brothers and I share are just as strong and similar within us. As those from my biological family. The input from my Son, reflected our mutual respect and valuing of the knowledge of each other and our individual ways. The input from my cousin, illustrated that our family characteristics cross generations and the connections that may seem to have been lost. Those characteristics are shared regardless of time and distance. The input from my classmate Brother, showed mutual respect and love. At the same time, those inputs addressed an ongoing stressor for me, they also clarified for me some of the bonding that has occurred in my Combat Control related family members. The love, respect, characteristics and all the things that are included and shared in biological families is also part of non biological families regardless of how those non bio families bond. In mine it's from CCT, in some it's because of Gang Membership, in some it's other bonding connections. I think it's important for people to understand that as in biological families there are unique bonds that may appear deeper and/or less or weaker between individual members within non biological families. I've long known or realized that the bond I have with some of "my military Brothers" is at least as strong and often stronger than the bond I feel with some of my biological family members. In both cases, each person has a "full glass" of membership and bond to start. In both cases that bond may weaken by individual action and/or perception, but they remain "family". For Roger, simply being "family" is NEVER to be taken for granted. In my little world, family members ALWAYS maintain mutual respect AND WORK AT IT!! When either person loses or takes for granted that respect, those bonds are weakened so as to seem to have disappeared and BOTH sides must agree to attempts to rebuild. Family is family and always, always depends on perspective.
I'm
thankful for: THE MISSOULIAN
12-12-2013 Almost daily this paper has what I call "positive human interest" stories. That's contrary to the print and electronic media lament (by many) of "all bad news". I've praised that effort before, but this morning's paper has what I'd call more "neutral" items that are for me VERY uplifting. Front page has a story of using cutting edge technology to share the "Native American"/Indian culture. The plan is to put the native names of landmarks on Google Earth availability and later enable sharing the stories passed via oral tradition to people via electronics. Then the Outdoors section has a story about backyard skating rinks. I did an extremely rough version of that (flooded the RR tie surrounded garden) in Wisconsin about two and half decades ago. Finally, a local column writer (Greg Tollefson) wrote of activity in the cold snap and tied that extremely well IMO to Mandela's legacy. All together it sure started my day wonderfully.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
12-8-2013: I'm saddened and ashamed this morning. For myself mostly, but also the Law Enforcement decisions made in reference to my call on November 29th AND the trend that seems so widespread or even prevailing in American Society. I'm well aware of the multitude of "practical" side/view of my own decision, the LE decisions and that which feeds the trend. Regardless of all the "rational/rationalization" of choosing the "correct" decisions, it remains and will haunt me because it is simply wrong. I have decided that I will in fact choose to join local law enforcement decisions to encourage behavior that may/should be considered criminal. Of course I refer to the behavior of the man and wife that endangered WayVer and me on a public access road. With every portion of my thinking and perception of ethics and integrity I believe it is wrong to NOT attempt to inform/educate that family that their actions ARE illegal and not acceptable. I also believe it is wrong for us as a society to fail to address that the lessons the children are learning are also not acceptable for later behavior decisions. While I believe that not "stepping forward" or "taking a stand" is also wrong, that decision is "correct" for me in this case. Unfortunately as an Army SgtMajor spoke many, many years ago, "Once you quit, it always becomes easier later". All the "correct" choices and the rationalizations that attempt to justify that correctness can NOT be separated from the (IMO likely) possibility/probability that the adults and thus the whole family will learn or reinforce their belief that intimidation and bullying are acceptable behavior. I have made the choice to avoid the area I've walked on, enjoyed and prefer. For a multitude of reasons it isn't "practical" for me to stand alone to demonstrate that intimidation isn't allowed and that endangering others is acceptable to society. My conscious is NOT clear, I AM ashamed but will continue to breathe and function largely and mostly to others in the same manner. I will remain aware and sensitive to the ramifications of my own behavior and that of others. As I sit here (feeling either "down", saddened, or sorry for myself depending on the readers view) I'm pretty sure that I'll be aware that I no longer have the right to urge others to "take a stand for the good of all".
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
More reflections on the ongoing "situation" with a family along one portion of where I walk most for exercise and "well being". The area I walk has many possible routes that give me variety while I also have consistency (parking, distance from home, location for Sheila's knowledge etc.). It's very wide open without many home (two only) and trees which at first I considered a compromise (from walking tree areas). I've come to appreciate many things about that Montana wide open idea. I can let the dogs wander more as they seek "treasures", yet maintain the level of control that is standard for us and I feel that I have the ability to keep them safe (less now which is what this is all about).
I've been walking regularly since before both hip replacements. Prior to that I'd run (NOT jog) from my teens to well into my 40's. Both activities are very, very much "part of me" to my friends (I think), as well as all the common benefits attributed to exercise and outdoor activities. I've been using this area for about a year and a half to a bit more.
Some time in December last year a family moved into one of the two homes. Previously I'd chatted with the owners of the house and actually didn't know the house had been sold. I thought the same family had returned from working in the Dakota's. I chatted with the new lady and found they'd bought the home. She had some small children and I went to the house to tell them about Santa on the roof, and then later to see if they'd come by. Later I cautioned her that I'd seen what could have been a person setting traps and shared information with both the lady and her husband about some poaching and wolf or coyote activity. I also explained much about why and when (all weather and times including nights) I walked that area and that I carried a gun for protection of me and would have myself and the dogs well lighted in the dark and that I would be "an extra set of eyes" in the area if they needed. I'm sure I explained about the dogs and our procedures around other people and vehicles. In other words, I made sure they like everyone else I came across, had more than adequate information to conclude "he's not a problem".
About 2-12 or 13 this year I was walking, the Boyz were wandering when I saw a truck approaching so as usual I called the dogs and stepped well off the road to what would be the drivers right side as he passed. Willie got to me and was on a sit-stay (that's our procedure so others know the dogs are under control). WayVer was coming via the road (his and the drivers right side) along the edge. The truck never slowed down and came within a couple to three feet of him. If he'd turned his head to the left to see behind him, he would have been hit. As would be expected I was "upset/bothered/concerned". We continued and as we did I saw the truck had pulled into the one driveway. I got to the truck and drove over to the house. The lady answered and I asked to talked to her husband. She said he was in the shower and I asked her to pass along a rhetorical question (I said "that means I don't really need an answer") of "How much time did he save by not slowing down for the dog? As I turned to leave she started yelling for me to get off their property and not come back. Very, very vicious and more emotional than I expected. I got in my truck and was ready to leave when the man came out, so I waited (and at some point got out to talk to him). He asked what was going on and I repeated the comment about the rhetorical question. I also explained (somewhere in the conversation) that I thought passing the dog at 20-30 mph wasn't appropriate. He responded "more like 15-20" and said he knew how to drive around dogs because he'd had "lots of dogs chase my truck" (I didn't point out that WayVer was ahead of him going the same direction as he was obviously coming to me and Willie about 8-10 feet off the road).
After that the man and I had a number of discussions. Initially he said his wife was "scared" (I think he said because I'd come to their house) and that he didn't want me "on our property". I assured him that I wouldn't but for him not to "hurt me or these dogs". I also tried to assure him/them (her via him) that I was no danger to them that I was just walking that area as I had been doing. When he said he moved there "for a reason" I said that was the same reason I walked there. At one point he and another guy came (rushing??) up to me at a place a mile or so past their home and on a dead end road (to a cul de sac a developer had made) in an extremely remote area. I'd put the dogs on a sit-stay until they stopped, and then went over to talk to him as the other guy stayed in the truck. He said he'd gotten a call from his wife saying "He's out here again." and he came to "get this straighten out". I again assured him that I was not something they should be worried about and was getting my wallet out so he could copy down my identifying information if he had paper. He said or asked about just taking a picture of it with his phone and I agreed. I also told him I would be walking out there but not going onto their property. At some point the other guy started getting out of the truck. I took one step back and turned so my right hand was away from the driver (my thought was the situation might get dangerous for me). The passenger and driver were/are both much younger, larger and in better physical shape than me and we were past the house in a very remote place about 2 1/2 miles from my truck. The passenger and driver both had stocking hats on that prevented me from recognizing the passenger until I heard his voice. He (at that time) owned a local food serving business in a local bar that Sheila and I visited often. I relaxed and we all talked (to me) pleasantly.
A couple days later I went to see "Kevin" at the restaurant. I wanted to make sure he knew why, if he'd noticed my step back and turn. I asked if he knew about "situational awareness" and he said he did. I explained how for me to have two larger, younger men approach in the remote area certainly caused me concern. I explained I was fine when I saw the unknown passenger staying in the vehicle and after I heard his voice, but as he was getting out I was preparing to draw my gun if needed and that he might want to consider how others see a situation if he ever encounters similar scenarios. He said he worked with Aaron and just happened to ride along and that they weren't really friends just worked together and that Aaron was a plant manager. I said something about Aaron not being very understanding about the positions other than his own and Kevin said that was accurate.
As time passed, Aaron (the man) and his wife would continue past the Boyz and me without (most of the time though she did) "moving over" if we hadn't been able to get off the road in time (I still attemped to move off, just like for all others). Eventually I told Aaron that if they continued to endanger me and the dogs that I would "call the cops". Finally after another time (I don't recall right now exactly what happened and whether the wife or Aaron) I did call the non-emergency number for Ravalli County Dispatch. I talked to a Deputy eventually and he asked for location and identifying information so he could make the contact. (I'd asked for a uniform contact to explain that they should take action to not endanger us) I didn't have a good way to give location (no address on a dirt remote road) or any identification other than "Aaron and he's a plant manager in Stevensville". The Deputy said he needed more and I said I'd try to get it. I then called "Apehangers" the business Kevin owned and asked his wife for information on Aaron's last name and the plant they worked at. She said she was uncomfortable with giving that and didn't want to get involved but wanted to call Kevin. I said that was fine and gave my phone number.
Aaron showed up to my house within a half hour of the call (obviously informed by Kevin after the call from his wife). Initially he came across as aggressive, agitated and as "a hardass". We talked over the gate to my driveway for quite some time. I told him that his attitude and behavior had finally caused me to talk to Law Enforcement and that I intended and asked them to explain "what you need to do". He was upset about the "complaint" and had talked to his attorney and been informed he could apply for a restraining order and his wife was "doing that as we speak". I said I'd like that as a means of "getting this straight". In that conversation I'd said his attitude came across as a hard ass and that he seemed to think he had some "rights" because he lived on that road, that he did NOT have because it was officially a private road with public access. During that conversation it seemed that his attitude changed and became "more reasonable and open to compromise". I explained I felt I'd "bent over backward" to make sure they knew I wasn't a danger and to allow him to alleviate his wife's fears. He said he'd "run a background check on you and know about your past from your drivers license". I explained that yes I had two convictions for assault and that both had been given a Diversion Agreement. I also explained that a second was extremely rare and that the lady had said she'd only done a second a few times previously and that a third would certainly not ever happen. I also said she'd told me she was doing it because, "I know you Roger and both times you were provoked but you can't hit someone". Aaron mentioned my conversation with Kevin about stepping back and turning. I explained my perspective about their approach, the remoteness and that I didn't recognize Kevin until he talked. I explained I stepped back and turned so that if I needed to I could get the gun out, but that I hadn't even touched it. He "explained/warned" me that he'd had guns drawn on him five times. Once when his wife was there and that he'd "took it away and beat him with it". While I certainly didn't believe he him about the number and felt he was exaggerating. I said something to the effect that if he'd had that many experiences like that it might well indicate something about the way he comes across to people. He responded it was because he's a plant manager. I also said that would make his wife's fears seem more reasonable because she knew how he dealt with people. I also said that part of her fear was possibly connected to being in a remote location as a mother of two small children alone when he was gone. I said those fears may well have been directed towards me but that I'd done nothing to warrant them and had in fact gone out of my way to help alleviate them. He then said it was my tone of voice to her that bothered her. I explained that I'd lost the ability to control my tone since I'd left Air Traffic and that of course I sounded concerned and likely angry or agitated after HE had almost hit WayVer. I said I felt that he was the cause and reason of any problem because of his hard ass approach. At some point in this conversation I'd said all I was trying to do was walk in the area and that I expected/demand that he/they give me time to get the dogs and myself safe even if it meant stopping briefly. He said they had twice (that day and once before) stopped. {I realize NOW as I type, that day he'd kept coming as I tried to get off the road and it'd been previously that his wife hadn't stopped either}). I said that I was facing her the time with his wife and that she had NOT stopped and I was just barely clear as she went past and that while my back was turned with the dogs when he'd done the same thing I did not hear any time the wheels weren't continuing (it's a dirt and gravel road) to move.
As that conversation continued I felt it changed to a good exchange of views and positions of concern. I asked Aaron what it was that he wanted. He said he wanted me to not come around and walk elsewhere. As he said that, he immediately said he didn't think it was going to happen and that he wouldn't do that either, but it was his desire. I said he's right it wasn't going to happen and that all I wanted was for them not to endanger me or the dogs. I also asked him to convey my apology for my tone if that's what bothered his wife. I restated (once again) that the road had public access and that I would make my decisions about when and where I would walk on it. (he'd said something about owning land on both sides so that he could tell me to not "cross his property". I told him he better research that.). I thought that as he left that we'd had a good discussion that WOULD resolve problems through understanding what could be expected from each other (he had said they'd slow down, I took that to mean to allow time to get off the road). As I type, I'm not positive but suspect that I would have explained that I get off the road if we see or hear a vehicle in time. Not sure, but I'd be surprised if I failed to point that out when I stated my actions when I see others approaching. Coming back to this paragraph to add: at some point as I stated that I thought his wife might be frightened in the remote location. I mentioned (suggested??) that they may want/need and practice a plan for how she will protect herself and her children when he's not there and when they are all home. I know I mentioned that I felt she should know how to go to or at least put the children in a safe place and how to shoot if someone really did threaten them or enter their home. He said they had a range at their home and practiced "a lot", but stopped when others were approaching. I said that I thought they should continue shooting or even shoot more often when people were passing so that "everybody will hear and know that you practice".
Since that time, my neighbor has joined me walking and his presence has become common. He was not with me the time the children yelled at me that I wasn't supposed to "be here". Initially I would wave at any member of the family, but stopped waving at the lady because her actions seemed to me to indicate she didn't care for it. Aaron would wave, and the children did the one or two times they were outside. Of course I'd told John (neighbor) about my experiences and perspective. He was with me both times relatively recently when as we got off the road I felt the need and did put up my hand to stop them (once the lady and a week ago the man) as they continued towards us at a rate that would prevent us from getting all the way off the road. John has also seen and helped my/our procedures of getting off the road (as I've always attempted) for this family and all other vehicles, horse riders, atv's, and walkers/joggers with or without dogs (regardless of whether other dogs are leashed or not, I have decided individually whether I should or don't need to leash mine).
I'm writing this to "get it down on paper" and also to help me as I reflect on all perspectives and evaluate contributions and actions. I understand/suspect that they may not realize that sometimes we don't know they're approaching and thus they think we're on the road "for spite". I also understand that they may feel they have more say about the presence of others on that road than they expected when they bought the place. I have NOT seen much if any behavior from Aaron or his wife that indicate recognition that they don't control access to the road past their home. Actually, John noticed what he called road rage by the "lady" as she yelled aloud as she drove past one time and again last week when Aaron was driving and almost hit me as I pushed WayVer physically off the road. John says he couldn't hear what she said as Aaron yelled "Get off the fucking road", but that she was yelling something. Part of my reflecting thoughts are the lessons the children are learning as their parents act and discuss me and the walks. Twice at least, they've seen and/or heard behavior that IMO is way, way inappropriate lessons. The children seemed to have (mistakenly) learned that the family has power or authority that they don't legally have.
I am concerned about the safety and actions that are to be expected as I walk in the area and on the road. I am also concerned about what will happen when eventually I am driving to or from my parking spot and we must pass TWO vehicles on the road. I'm convinced that regardless of what I do, their actions and views will be along the lines of what seem to be intended to intimidate and bully me into going elsewhere as Aaron expressed as a desire. Last week I called the non-emergency dispatch number of Ravalli County and asked to be transferred to the non-emergency number for Missoula County. Talking to Missoula County after saying I'd almost been struck by a driver that had almost struck my dog previously. The dispatcher told me my dog was "supposed to be on a leash". I questioned that as a requirement and asked if the county did have a statute to that effect. She said that I had to contact Animal Control to make sure (I have and the county does NOT have that requirement, while the city does). She also stated she would have a Montana State Trooper contact me. I questioned that and repeated that it was in Missoula County that I'd been almost hit and thought it "could be handled" by a Deputy. Eventually I requested a Deputy call me and she indicated one would and did. The Deputy also focused more on the dogs and a leash rather than a driver almost hitting a pedestrian. I also eventually asked him to stop interrupting me when I was talking. After saying that and explaining that I knew my reasonable responsibilities but that the driver also had reasonable responsibilities. I got the impression that he then decided that maybe he should make a contact with the driver though he had said it was a Trooper's jurisdiction because it was a "moving violation". I told him that I would be contacting the state LE's. (at that point it had been more than apparent to me that this Deputy was very, very likely to end up reassuring Aaron and his wife that they COULD continue their present behavior legally and with some immunity). I contacted the Montana Highway Patrol when I got home and a Trooper did call me back shortly. He did seem to indicated that my views were correct and appropriate. He stated he would be making the Uniformed contact I desired but not that day (Friday 11/29) because he was the only Trooper on duty and knowing the remote location didn't want to be unavailable for needed responses. He assured me he would make a contact before he got off duty Sunday. I asked for and was assured he would contact me back. He seemed to take more interest when I mentioned Aaron, the driver yelling at me. He also indicated that depending on the contact he may (or may NOT) write a citation about either reckless or negligent endangerment (I don't recall exactly which he said).
Today as I write this, it's less than two hours from a week ago that I was almost struck. The Trooper has had two voice messages left on the phone asking for him to get back to me and that I realize the weather last weekend prevented his contact, but I'd like to know if/when he has or if he will. I've heard nothing from the Trooper or any Missoula County officer since the Sheriff called and said he'd have his people "look into this" or "take care of this" after he received my two page letter expressing concerns about the dispatch and Deputy responses and my intent to continue walking where I choose.
It is obvious that the easy (and some would say "correct") action on my part would be to go elsewhere for my walks and "avoid trouble/danger". I don't think it WOULD or should be easy. Maybe for some, certainly not for me or many others that feel the need to take a stand against intimidation and/or bullying. I do know and accept that any and all of my subsequent walks will be affected by this situation/experience regardless of where or when I choose to walk. I will forever be even more cautious of the dangers and attitudes of others while I walk. I will always be again even more concerned about about people assuming control or authority that they don't really have. I mentioned above about choosing where and when I walk. Included in that or as a result of my commitment to retaining my own authority to choose and be responsible for my actions/behavior. I feel compelled to say (in closing) that I will choose and accept the consequences of my choice to continue walking this problematic road. I will do that because it is a legal choice and in my view correct choice. The Trooper and others have and will say I have the "right". I don't use that word because it is IMO used too frequently though it is correct. I fully expect that Aaron and/or his wife will continue to retain and likely build their rage and resentment towards me. I do believe (and accept my part) they will continue to escalate their actions to the point that they may very well hurt me and/or WayVer or Willie. I fully intend to choose to function as a citizen of both Montana and America. While I'm disappointed in the response of Law Enforcement so far, I believe they will intervene and attempt to diffuse/prevent further conflict. I believe the week long delay will counter the effectiveness of their attempt (I suspect the delay will "reinforce" incorrect assumptions by Aaron and/or his wife. I fully expect that at some point in the future I will be calling 911 rather than the non-emergency number because either the dogs and/or I will be hurt walking a road with legal public access but opposed by a family along that road.
I've been walking regularly since before both hip replacements. Prior to that I'd run (NOT jog) from my teens to well into my 40's. Both activities are very, very much "part of me" to my friends (I think), as well as all the common benefits attributed to exercise and outdoor activities. I've been using this area for about a year and a half to a bit more.
Some time in December last year a family moved into one of the two homes. Previously I'd chatted with the owners of the house and actually didn't know the house had been sold. I thought the same family had returned from working in the Dakota's. I chatted with the new lady and found they'd bought the home. She had some small children and I went to the house to tell them about Santa on the roof, and then later to see if they'd come by. Later I cautioned her that I'd seen what could have been a person setting traps and shared information with both the lady and her husband about some poaching and wolf or coyote activity. I also explained much about why and when (all weather and times including nights) I walked that area and that I carried a gun for protection of me and would have myself and the dogs well lighted in the dark and that I would be "an extra set of eyes" in the area if they needed. I'm sure I explained about the dogs and our procedures around other people and vehicles. In other words, I made sure they like everyone else I came across, had more than adequate information to conclude "he's not a problem".
About 2-12 or 13 this year I was walking, the Boyz were wandering when I saw a truck approaching so as usual I called the dogs and stepped well off the road to what would be the drivers right side as he passed. Willie got to me and was on a sit-stay (that's our procedure so others know the dogs are under control). WayVer was coming via the road (his and the drivers right side) along the edge. The truck never slowed down and came within a couple to three feet of him. If he'd turned his head to the left to see behind him, he would have been hit. As would be expected I was "upset/bothered/concerned". We continued and as we did I saw the truck had pulled into the one driveway. I got to the truck and drove over to the house. The lady answered and I asked to talked to her husband. She said he was in the shower and I asked her to pass along a rhetorical question (I said "that means I don't really need an answer") of "How much time did he save by not slowing down for the dog? As I turned to leave she started yelling for me to get off their property and not come back. Very, very vicious and more emotional than I expected. I got in my truck and was ready to leave when the man came out, so I waited (and at some point got out to talk to him). He asked what was going on and I repeated the comment about the rhetorical question. I also explained (somewhere in the conversation) that I thought passing the dog at 20-30 mph wasn't appropriate. He responded "more like 15-20" and said he knew how to drive around dogs because he'd had "lots of dogs chase my truck" (I didn't point out that WayVer was ahead of him going the same direction as he was obviously coming to me and Willie about 8-10 feet off the road).
After that the man and I had a number of discussions. Initially he said his wife was "scared" (I think he said because I'd come to their house) and that he didn't want me "on our property". I assured him that I wouldn't but for him not to "hurt me or these dogs". I also tried to assure him/them (her via him) that I was no danger to them that I was just walking that area as I had been doing. When he said he moved there "for a reason" I said that was the same reason I walked there. At one point he and another guy came (rushing??) up to me at a place a mile or so past their home and on a dead end road (to a cul de sac a developer had made) in an extremely remote area. I'd put the dogs on a sit-stay until they stopped, and then went over to talk to him as the other guy stayed in the truck. He said he'd gotten a call from his wife saying "He's out here again." and he came to "get this straighten out". I again assured him that I was not something they should be worried about and was getting my wallet out so he could copy down my identifying information if he had paper. He said or asked about just taking a picture of it with his phone and I agreed. I also told him I would be walking out there but not going onto their property. At some point the other guy started getting out of the truck. I took one step back and turned so my right hand was away from the driver (my thought was the situation might get dangerous for me). The passenger and driver were/are both much younger, larger and in better physical shape than me and we were past the house in a very remote place about 2 1/2 miles from my truck. The passenger and driver both had stocking hats on that prevented me from recognizing the passenger until I heard his voice. He (at that time) owned a local food serving business in a local bar that Sheila and I visited often. I relaxed and we all talked (to me) pleasantly.
A couple days later I went to see "Kevin" at the restaurant. I wanted to make sure he knew why, if he'd noticed my step back and turn. I asked if he knew about "situational awareness" and he said he did. I explained how for me to have two larger, younger men approach in the remote area certainly caused me concern. I explained I was fine when I saw the unknown passenger staying in the vehicle and after I heard his voice, but as he was getting out I was preparing to draw my gun if needed and that he might want to consider how others see a situation if he ever encounters similar scenarios. He said he worked with Aaron and just happened to ride along and that they weren't really friends just worked together and that Aaron was a plant manager. I said something about Aaron not being very understanding about the positions other than his own and Kevin said that was accurate.
As time passed, Aaron (the man) and his wife would continue past the Boyz and me without (most of the time though she did) "moving over" if we hadn't been able to get off the road in time (I still attemped to move off, just like for all others). Eventually I told Aaron that if they continued to endanger me and the dogs that I would "call the cops". Finally after another time (I don't recall right now exactly what happened and whether the wife or Aaron) I did call the non-emergency number for Ravalli County Dispatch. I talked to a Deputy eventually and he asked for location and identifying information so he could make the contact. (I'd asked for a uniform contact to explain that they should take action to not endanger us) I didn't have a good way to give location (no address on a dirt remote road) or any identification other than "Aaron and he's a plant manager in Stevensville". The Deputy said he needed more and I said I'd try to get it. I then called "Apehangers" the business Kevin owned and asked his wife for information on Aaron's last name and the plant they worked at. She said she was uncomfortable with giving that and didn't want to get involved but wanted to call Kevin. I said that was fine and gave my phone number.
Aaron showed up to my house within a half hour of the call (obviously informed by Kevin after the call from his wife). Initially he came across as aggressive, agitated and as "a hardass". We talked over the gate to my driveway for quite some time. I told him that his attitude and behavior had finally caused me to talk to Law Enforcement and that I intended and asked them to explain "what you need to do". He was upset about the "complaint" and had talked to his attorney and been informed he could apply for a restraining order and his wife was "doing that as we speak". I said I'd like that as a means of "getting this straight". In that conversation I'd said his attitude came across as a hard ass and that he seemed to think he had some "rights" because he lived on that road, that he did NOT have because it was officially a private road with public access. During that conversation it seemed that his attitude changed and became "more reasonable and open to compromise". I explained I felt I'd "bent over backward" to make sure they knew I wasn't a danger and to allow him to alleviate his wife's fears. He said he'd "run a background check on you and know about your past from your drivers license". I explained that yes I had two convictions for assault and that both had been given a Diversion Agreement. I also explained that a second was extremely rare and that the lady had said she'd only done a second a few times previously and that a third would certainly not ever happen. I also said she'd told me she was doing it because, "I know you Roger and both times you were provoked but you can't hit someone". Aaron mentioned my conversation with Kevin about stepping back and turning. I explained my perspective about their approach, the remoteness and that I didn't recognize Kevin until he talked. I explained I stepped back and turned so that if I needed to I could get the gun out, but that I hadn't even touched it. He "explained/warned" me that he'd had guns drawn on him five times. Once when his wife was there and that he'd "took it away and beat him with it". While I certainly didn't believe he him about the number and felt he was exaggerating. I said something to the effect that if he'd had that many experiences like that it might well indicate something about the way he comes across to people. He responded it was because he's a plant manager. I also said that would make his wife's fears seem more reasonable because she knew how he dealt with people. I also said that part of her fear was possibly connected to being in a remote location as a mother of two small children alone when he was gone. I said those fears may well have been directed towards me but that I'd done nothing to warrant them and had in fact gone out of my way to help alleviate them. He then said it was my tone of voice to her that bothered her. I explained that I'd lost the ability to control my tone since I'd left Air Traffic and that of course I sounded concerned and likely angry or agitated after HE had almost hit WayVer. I said I felt that he was the cause and reason of any problem because of his hard ass approach. At some point in this conversation I'd said all I was trying to do was walk in the area and that I expected/demand that he/they give me time to get the dogs and myself safe even if it meant stopping briefly. He said they had twice (that day and once before) stopped. {I realize NOW as I type, that day he'd kept coming as I tried to get off the road and it'd been previously that his wife hadn't stopped either}). I said that I was facing her the time with his wife and that she had NOT stopped and I was just barely clear as she went past and that while my back was turned with the dogs when he'd done the same thing I did not hear any time the wheels weren't continuing (it's a dirt and gravel road) to move.
As that conversation continued I felt it changed to a good exchange of views and positions of concern. I asked Aaron what it was that he wanted. He said he wanted me to not come around and walk elsewhere. As he said that, he immediately said he didn't think it was going to happen and that he wouldn't do that either, but it was his desire. I said he's right it wasn't going to happen and that all I wanted was for them not to endanger me or the dogs. I also asked him to convey my apology for my tone if that's what bothered his wife. I restated (once again) that the road had public access and that I would make my decisions about when and where I would walk on it. (he'd said something about owning land on both sides so that he could tell me to not "cross his property". I told him he better research that.). I thought that as he left that we'd had a good discussion that WOULD resolve problems through understanding what could be expected from each other (he had said they'd slow down, I took that to mean to allow time to get off the road). As I type, I'm not positive but suspect that I would have explained that I get off the road if we see or hear a vehicle in time. Not sure, but I'd be surprised if I failed to point that out when I stated my actions when I see others approaching. Coming back to this paragraph to add: at some point as I stated that I thought his wife might be frightened in the remote location. I mentioned (suggested??) that they may want/need and practice a plan for how she will protect herself and her children when he's not there and when they are all home. I know I mentioned that I felt she should know how to go to or at least put the children in a safe place and how to shoot if someone really did threaten them or enter their home. He said they had a range at their home and practiced "a lot", but stopped when others were approaching. I said that I thought they should continue shooting or even shoot more often when people were passing so that "everybody will hear and know that you practice".
Since that time, my neighbor has joined me walking and his presence has become common. He was not with me the time the children yelled at me that I wasn't supposed to "be here". Initially I would wave at any member of the family, but stopped waving at the lady because her actions seemed to me to indicate she didn't care for it. Aaron would wave, and the children did the one or two times they were outside. Of course I'd told John (neighbor) about my experiences and perspective. He was with me both times relatively recently when as we got off the road I felt the need and did put up my hand to stop them (once the lady and a week ago the man) as they continued towards us at a rate that would prevent us from getting all the way off the road. John has also seen and helped my/our procedures of getting off the road (as I've always attempted) for this family and all other vehicles, horse riders, atv's, and walkers/joggers with or without dogs (regardless of whether other dogs are leashed or not, I have decided individually whether I should or don't need to leash mine).
I'm writing this to "get it down on paper" and also to help me as I reflect on all perspectives and evaluate contributions and actions. I understand/suspect that they may not realize that sometimes we don't know they're approaching and thus they think we're on the road "for spite". I also understand that they may feel they have more say about the presence of others on that road than they expected when they bought the place. I have NOT seen much if any behavior from Aaron or his wife that indicate recognition that they don't control access to the road past their home. Actually, John noticed what he called road rage by the "lady" as she yelled aloud as she drove past one time and again last week when Aaron was driving and almost hit me as I pushed WayVer physically off the road. John says he couldn't hear what she said as Aaron yelled "Get off the fucking road", but that she was yelling something. Part of my reflecting thoughts are the lessons the children are learning as their parents act and discuss me and the walks. Twice at least, they've seen and/or heard behavior that IMO is way, way inappropriate lessons. The children seemed to have (mistakenly) learned that the family has power or authority that they don't legally have.
I am concerned about the safety and actions that are to be expected as I walk in the area and on the road. I am also concerned about what will happen when eventually I am driving to or from my parking spot and we must pass TWO vehicles on the road. I'm convinced that regardless of what I do, their actions and views will be along the lines of what seem to be intended to intimidate and bully me into going elsewhere as Aaron expressed as a desire. Last week I called the non-emergency dispatch number of Ravalli County and asked to be transferred to the non-emergency number for Missoula County. Talking to Missoula County after saying I'd almost been struck by a driver that had almost struck my dog previously. The dispatcher told me my dog was "supposed to be on a leash". I questioned that as a requirement and asked if the county did have a statute to that effect. She said that I had to contact Animal Control to make sure (I have and the county does NOT have that requirement, while the city does). She also stated she would have a Montana State Trooper contact me. I questioned that and repeated that it was in Missoula County that I'd been almost hit and thought it "could be handled" by a Deputy. Eventually I requested a Deputy call me and she indicated one would and did. The Deputy also focused more on the dogs and a leash rather than a driver almost hitting a pedestrian. I also eventually asked him to stop interrupting me when I was talking. After saying that and explaining that I knew my reasonable responsibilities but that the driver also had reasonable responsibilities. I got the impression that he then decided that maybe he should make a contact with the driver though he had said it was a Trooper's jurisdiction because it was a "moving violation". I told him that I would be contacting the state LE's. (at that point it had been more than apparent to me that this Deputy was very, very likely to end up reassuring Aaron and his wife that they COULD continue their present behavior legally and with some immunity). I contacted the Montana Highway Patrol when I got home and a Trooper did call me back shortly. He did seem to indicated that my views were correct and appropriate. He stated he would be making the Uniformed contact I desired but not that day (Friday 11/29) because he was the only Trooper on duty and knowing the remote location didn't want to be unavailable for needed responses. He assured me he would make a contact before he got off duty Sunday. I asked for and was assured he would contact me back. He seemed to take more interest when I mentioned Aaron, the driver yelling at me. He also indicated that depending on the contact he may (or may NOT) write a citation about either reckless or negligent endangerment (I don't recall exactly which he said).
Today as I write this, it's less than two hours from a week ago that I was almost struck. The Trooper has had two voice messages left on the phone asking for him to get back to me and that I realize the weather last weekend prevented his contact, but I'd like to know if/when he has or if he will. I've heard nothing from the Trooper or any Missoula County officer since the Sheriff called and said he'd have his people "look into this" or "take care of this" after he received my two page letter expressing concerns about the dispatch and Deputy responses and my intent to continue walking where I choose.
It is obvious that the easy (and some would say "correct") action on my part would be to go elsewhere for my walks and "avoid trouble/danger". I don't think it WOULD or should be easy. Maybe for some, certainly not for me or many others that feel the need to take a stand against intimidation and/or bullying. I do know and accept that any and all of my subsequent walks will be affected by this situation/experience regardless of where or when I choose to walk. I will forever be even more cautious of the dangers and attitudes of others while I walk. I will always be again even more concerned about about people assuming control or authority that they don't really have. I mentioned above about choosing where and when I walk. Included in that or as a result of my commitment to retaining my own authority to choose and be responsible for my actions/behavior. I feel compelled to say (in closing) that I will choose and accept the consequences of my choice to continue walking this problematic road. I will do that because it is a legal choice and in my view correct choice. The Trooper and others have and will say I have the "right". I don't use that word because it is IMO used too frequently though it is correct. I fully expect that Aaron and/or his wife will continue to retain and likely build their rage and resentment towards me. I do believe (and accept my part) they will continue to escalate their actions to the point that they may very well hurt me and/or WayVer or Willie. I fully intend to choose to function as a citizen of both Montana and America. While I'm disappointed in the response of Law Enforcement so far, I believe they will intervene and attempt to diffuse/prevent further conflict. I believe the week long delay will counter the effectiveness of their attempt (I suspect the delay will "reinforce" incorrect assumptions by Aaron and/or his wife. I fully expect that at some point in the future I will be calling 911 rather than the non-emergency number because either the dogs and/or I will be hurt walking a road with legal public access but opposed by a family along that road.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
I'm thankful for: LEARNING TO RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE ABOUT THINGS I CAN AND CAN NOT CHANGE.
12-4-2013 Learned probably later and through more mistakes than i should have, but I DID learn. I still seek change that I think is appropriate, but have a better understanding and acceptance of WHO. (BTW on the aside: Temperatures here in Montana are expected to be 20-30 and some places 40 degrees lower than normal. That level hasn't been seen in at least a couple DECADES)
12-4-2013 Learned probably later and through more mistakes than i should have, but I DID learn. I still seek change that I think is appropriate, but have a better understanding and acceptance of WHO. (BTW on the aside: Temperatures here in Montana are expected to be 20-30 and some places 40 degrees lower than normal. That level hasn't been seen in at least a couple DECADES)
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
I'm
thankful for: THOSE WHO'VE MOST INFLUENCED THE DIRECTION OF MY LIFE
12-2-2013 Many have and continue to influence me, my ways and my choices. Those influences have been both "good" & "bad" in that they led me to make decisions. Some of those decision had benefit, others not so much. I was/am influenced, but the choices are mine as is the responsibility.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
I'm
thankful for: SWEET
HOME HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1967
12-1-2013 My classmates led me to “leave home” so that I could graduate with t hem rather than move with my family. I've never had even one regret for that decision. Quite the opposite I've relished the idea of knowing these people and being a part of their group. I carried the pride and knowledge our class into life and shared to others that they were special. They DID have a positive influence and memory as I lived my life. Thanks to FaceBook I've reconnected with many of my classmates in the last few years.
12-1-2013 My classmates led me to “leave home” so that I could graduate with t hem rather than move with my family. I've never had even one regret for that decision. Quite the opposite I've relished the idea of knowing these people and being a part of their group. I carried the pride and knowledge our class into life and shared to others that they were special. They DID have a positive influence and memory as I lived my life. Thanks to FaceBook I've reconnected with many of my classmates in the last few years.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Welcome to my world. Starting another day with the need and effort to manage my anxiety and other features of PTSD & an Anxiety Disorder. After I typed that sentence I answered a text, that adds extra "factors". Current plan is/was to do my walk with the neighbor that just cancelled out for shopping. A lot of tension/anxiety as the plan is/was(?) is a continued and yesterday escalation of and by a man & wife living in the remote area I walk and on my most preferred and used route. The guy almost hit (<2 or 3 feet at about 20-25 mph) WayVer on the dirt road (private with public access). There's been a series of discussions, a lot of attempting to placate their concerns and explain myself, without much back except a "hard ass" approach and what certainly looks like road rage and a willingness to try to intimidate me. Yesterday in their SUV they surprised us from the back and as my neighbor and I tried to get the Boyz and us off the road (as is our normal practice to get off to the side and put the Boyz on a sit stay) they kept coming even as I tried to physically push WayVer off the road and Willie got excited and broke off HIS sit stay to come to me. I put up my hand to try to get him to stop (so we could clear as we obviously were trying to do). He kept coming and stopped within about 2' of me (I was concerned the mirror would hit me) and yelled, "Get the fuck off the road". Montana State Trooper will be visiting them today or tomorrow. I'm not much at all inclined and have absolutely NO intention of being intimidated and/or bullied. Multiple reasons for that. Stubborness certainly, but also a long term opposition to both ideas and a feeling that by NOT taking action people encourage or imply acceptance (approval??) of that behavior. Decision on the plan as I write this is I think changing to avoid the appearance of "antagonizing by flaunting my presence". Gonna be alone and not sure if the Trooper has made contact YET. I think I'll "do the right thing" and hope the Trooper will have some effect for when tomorrow or whenever I continue. Thanx for the time Mr. Blog.
Friday, November 29, 2013
I shared the link on FB and since then (this morning) I've had "anxiety" and/or the coffee jitters. Neither is unusual, not familiar or manageable. I am almost constantly self monitoring, clarifying and reflecting. I'm very, very, very aware of words and wording. I try to be aware of the words, message "intended" and what is NOT spoken and what THAT means (to me from my perspective). Adam said one time that I select my words very carefully, I agree and do that intentionally in the attempt to say what I/Roger intend to convey. Makes me long winded. I consider myself "a simple man, with complex ideas/thoughts". I'm very, very much aware of how I see myself and that undoubtedly and without fail that is different than others perceive me. I'm okay with that difference because there is almost nothing I can do to change the view of others even when I wish to. My own view is that I won't (intentionally or consciously) change solely to please others. I will change if I think the view of others IS more accurate than my own, but that is almost never based on one other person. I accept that long winded label/view because I DO "have something to say" as Sheila phrases it. Recently (last couple/few years) I'm more and more aware that many "block me out". I think that is almost a universal thing for many people as they age. Years ago I was repeatedly told that people pay attention when I speak, that's changed sometimes and more often as I've aged out of the generational dominant group. It is what it is, and an illustration of those ideas mentioned above about awareness, reflections and acceptance of perspectives.
I'm thankful for: COMBAT CONTROL & the CC FAMILY
11-29-2013 The men, the mission(s) and the bonds. All of those past and present. Now the Family that is Combat Control which includes much, much more than the men and our bond. That is to say the women, children and all the loved ones of those men through time that have been or are CCT.
11-29-2013 The men, the mission(s) and the bonds. All of those past and present. Now the Family that is Combat Control which includes much, much more than the men and our bond. That is to say the women, children and all the loved ones of those men through time that have been or are CCT.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
I'm
thankful for: MY
DAUGHTERS!
11-27-2013 One whose life was far too short, but taught me to be a parent and many, many other things. The other who brought life into mine later in life. Cindy and her memories are and have been always on my mind. The combination of wonder, joy, regret, guilt and a profound sense of sadness of what could and should have been. Rest Peacefully sweet girl, thank you for teaching Daddy. Heather chose to enter MY life by becoming Bryan's. Then by being herself she enriched both our lives, and frosted them with Alex & Brenna. Thank you Heather.
11-27-2013 One whose life was far too short, but taught me to be a parent and many, many other things. The other who brought life into mine later in life. Cindy and her memories are and have been always on my mind. The combination of wonder, joy, regret, guilt and a profound sense of sadness of what could and should have been. Rest Peacefully sweet girl, thank you for teaching Daddy. Heather chose to enter MY life by becoming Bryan's. Then by being herself she enriched both our lives, and frosted them with Alex & Brenna. Thank you Heather.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
I'm thankful
for: Sheila James!!
11-25-2013 is
the Eighth Anniversary of this good, kind, patient, gentle, friendly,
attractive lady becaming my wife. I AM FORTUNATE AND THANKFUL this
beautiful person (inside & out) chose to enter and stay in my
life. I don't have the words to descibe how much she means to me or all the characteristics that are good about this person. The short list in the first sentence should include tolerant also. She chooses to be the person she is, and for that choice I am thankful and a very lucky man.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Knowing I can!!11-24-2013 Having posted an article about daily thankful for statements. I've chosen to use that structure. I may choose to elaborate as I'm doing on this one, or I may choose NOT to. Today's statement took considerable thought and decision making. I chose to start today rather than tomorrow because I can.
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