I started using this blog idea, partly because a High School classmate suggested it (thanx Linda).  Also partly because like many others, as I've aged I feel almost compelled and have a deep desire to pass along/share/impart "my wisdom" or "what I've learned" from life's journey on the paths I've taken.

I seldom do ANYTHING for just one reason.  Sometimes I don't know ALL the reasons.  I learned to reflect and sort that concept out while instructing new Controllers in the FAA.  Sometimes they'd ask why I'd done something, and as I attempted to explain fully (so they could learn and/or evaluate from MY actions) I realized and recognized that very, very often a person that "knows" their job has to spend a great deal of time to identify the steps they go through for complex actions or thoughts they perform.  That same idea is true for all of us, IMO.  We do things that are "part of us", but what all goes to form that part or whole is overshadowed or lost without an awful lot of effort taken to recognize it.  My word for the process of sorting things out is "reflecting".  I do that as I seek to understand external things as well as internal to myself.  The phrase often used is, "what really happened here".  I seek to try and find out.

I've spent considerable time doing that process as I sought to sort out the input I received and my reaction to that input.  The input was about my intent to continue walking in the area of considerable stressors.  Mostly I received input from three sources.  One was an immediate family member, one is biological family but somewhat distant and the third is a friend that I view as family.  Obviously the common denominator there is family.  That concept itself brought reflection.

I'm going to briefly state the idea of family as I see it in reference to my pets.  I do NOT consider my dogs as children, surrogate or actual.  Children are humans, my dogs are not human but they certainly ARE part of my family.  Like any other and each member of my family the dogs have personalities that have (to me) endearing and bothersome characteristics.  I love the whole.

The first person that gave me input, mentioned an idea that he sought and also recognized my characteristic of doing what I think is correct.  I simply don't have the ability to express how much I value that input and what I think it means about the relationship of mutual respect.

The second person provided personal opinion and perspective.  Also clarifying by example "family traits". Those traits were/are expressed about the men in my family.  Of course the men don't have exclusive use of those traits but it IS accurate to use the men to illustrate them.  I've known that I possess those characteristics and I think more than most people, I recognize them as both good and/or bad depending on perspective and individual circumstance.  I don't mean to imply that in the input given was that the family characteristics were portrayed ONLY as a negative. However I got the impression the effect on others was seen (accurately I think) as a negative or at least as causing problems for others.  Again I don't have the ability to express the level of gratitude I have for the input and the manner it was expressed and given.  The candor and perspective is exactly what I sought when I asked for input.

That last sentence is also true for the third person providing input to me.  While not a biological member of my family.  Also NOT a member of my "Military Brothers" or aka Brother as I refer to them.  Regardless, the friend that I talked to via telephone IS my Brother.  That term is used (by me and others) to imply or state a bond of mutual respect and caring.  It certainly meets that criteria from my seat in this case.  Hopefully the reader gets a feel for how strongly I value the input from this person as well as the other two.

The input from the third person created some threads of thought for me that were extremely provocative in that they made me challenge myself as well as my perspectives (of a number of things).  During the phone conversation I was asked how I could take risks.   The risks mentioned were for the safety of WayVer and Willie as well as myself.  It was plainly stated "it's not worth the risks" and "you're NOT defending Democracy".  As I listened, my thoughts were "YES IT IS!!" to both.  My Brother also said, "How can you...." and my thoughts were "How can YOU NOT" and "How can you not know that I must".  I have to emphasize how much I appreciated the views and candor from my friend/Brother.  He and I have known and stated that while we disagree sometimes, we never lose respect for the other (though we "know" the other is "wrong").  The phone call gave me reason to reflect on many, many things.  This blog is the result of only one of those things.

FAMILY!!  The three people giving me input were family members.  The first two were biological, and illustrate "family characteristics".  The third person is as much family in my mind as he would be had he been a blood relative, maybe more.  He also brought to the fore of my thoughts the characteristics of my family members from my military experiences.  THAT is the point of this long blog.  The characteristics that my military brothers and I share are just as strong and similar within us.  As those from my biological family.  The input from my Son, reflected our mutual respect and valuing of the knowledge of each other and our individual ways.  The input from my cousin, illustrated that our family characteristics cross generations and the connections that may seem to have been lost.  Those characteristics are shared regardless of time and distance.  The input from my classmate Brother, showed mutual respect and love.  At the same time, those inputs addressed an ongoing stressor for me, they also clarified for me some of the bonding that has occurred in my Combat Control related family members.  The love, respect, characteristics and all the things that are included and shared in biological families is also part of non biological families regardless of how those non bio families bond.  In mine it's from CCT, in some it's because of Gang Membership, in some it's other bonding connections.  I think it's important for people to understand that as in biological families there are unique bonds that may appear deeper and/or less or weaker between individual members within non biological families.  I've long known or realized that the bond I have with some of "my military Brothers" is at least as strong and often stronger than the bond I feel with some of my biological family members.  In both cases, each person has a "full glass" of membership and bond to start.  In both cases that bond may weaken by individual action and/or perception, but they remain "family".  For Roger, simply being "family" is NEVER to be taken for granted.  In my little world, family members ALWAYS maintain mutual respect AND WORK AT IT!!  When either person loses or takes for granted that respect, those bonds are weakened so as to seem to have disappeared and BOTH sides must agree to attempts to rebuild.  Family is family and always, always depends on perspective.