Thank you WayVer

3/14/2015 0705

One hour since I wrote on FB that I was going to leave it for a while. I did that intending to go where I've found strength through my life, into myself. I'm troubled/saddened deeply, as I said on FB more saddened than in a very long time. That combined with my awareness/intent to rediscover (or whatever word is appropriate) some characteristics that I see as personal strengths, that for whatever reason I feel I need to reacquire or bring back to a previous level. I felt extremely exhausted by emotions and fully intended to take care of some minor things and then “get my butt back in bed” to rest for the remainder of a day just doing what I needed to “take care of Roger” (I don't think I've focused on doing that nearly enough during most of my life).

I've trained the last three four legged, furry members of my family/pack and had them formally certified/registered as Therapy Dogs. I've enjoyed watching them provide comfort & companionship in about 650 “official visits”. A lot of feedback has returned about the impact they've had at benefiting people. Especially Younger seemed to “know” who and when to “be there” to provide the comfort. I've long said that WayVer had personality & intelligence bred into him by Guide Dogs of America (GDA) and also that he learned sensitivity from his sister (Younger). Those statements may be true but I've made the mistake of misinterpreting some of HIS ways.

WayVer like many other dogs will often come up and muzzle people because “he wants to be petted” and sometimes with me I'll send him away for MY reasons. There's nothing wrong with that behavior nor for our our reasons by either of us.

It's not at all unusual for me to get down and sit or lay by WayVer so that I can provide HIM comfort and companionship because I recognize his need for that and that it reduces HIS tendency toward stress issues (usually seen by his stomach rumbling and/or a pleading look). Of course the three dogs have always brought me pleasure and as indicated are part of the family. However I don't think I've EVER until this week, gotten down with either Younger or WayVer to pet them solely for my own benefit. I've cuddled with them but never solely seeking “therapy” or peace.

Obviously I'm saying that happened this morning. WayVer has been “muzzling” and I've been “deep”. I got down and called him and Willie so that I could pet, solely because I needed to do that. Willie is high keyed and most of the time while he may lay down on command next to me, he thinks that we're supposed to play ball rather than “settle”. Eventually I sent him away because I wasn't going to play and he was bothersome. Just WayVer and I settled and petted until I thought I'd accomplished my own need. I got up to go into “the room”. I stopped enroute a couple times because WayVer insisted on muzzling and being petted. Eventually I got to the destination and unlike one of my military Brothers, I allow the dogs to come in sometimes and sometimes pet them until I feel they should leave me be.

This morning I petted and he leaned against me, eventually he gave out his sighing type sound of contentment and laid down at me feet so I could continue to pet.

Okay, I realize I'll lose some folks and some will roll their eyes. No problem for me, I'm writing so I can revisit this document but do intend to share it.

I felt my stress and troubles doing the “flies” thing as symbolized in the movie “The Green Mile”. That image had an overwhelming presence for me. With apologize to those who may resent the comparison, it was similar (for me) to how I think “revelations” are to religious people. I'm not saying it was a religious experience, I'm saying it FELT like how I envision a religious experience must feel for those who have enjoyed them.

I sat there petting and staring at WayVer absorb MY troubles and stress and then lay his head down (on the scale) in either fatigue or peace. I continued to stare at him and all I could think about was the movie scenes of the man absorbing the evil and sending it away. I've no illusion that those troubles will never reappear but I've no doubt about the level of dominance they'll have.