This is the prelude to another blog I intend to write today.  Next blog is about "Younger" and because today and tomorrow are the third anniversaries of her death, it focused my thoughts on her.  That tendency to focus on past ("life changing") events is what leads me to THIS writing.
    There is often commentary that indicates that "looking into the past" is a negative and that we "should" look to the future.  I think that like most things that is somewhat true, but ONLY IN MODERATION!!  "Dwelling" on the past IMO means refusing to continue "trying" new things and relationships BECAUSE of the past.  On the other hand (again IMO) looking back to understand and learn is essential in life.  I'll paraphrase a saying: not learning from the past (mistakes) condemns one/society to repeat those lost lessons.
     I've spoken often about what I call my "reflecting".  In that, I expand those examinations of the past to encompass periods of events and time with others.  I reflect and try to understand and learn from "what really happened".
     My main point for this blog is to "explain" that often the trigger for those reflections are an anniversary of a period that ended or the anniversary or something to remind me of a particular event.  December & even more so January are periods that have a lot of anniversaries for me.  It seems the trigger is too often a loss that leads me to recount a relationship.  While doing that I have a tendency to gather strength and reassurance from the positive highlights of those relationships.  That is just my way!!  A negative may/does trigger the reflections that often are mostly thinking about positives.  Philosophically I credit that whole process as why I see myself as mostly viewing new things as a "glass mostly full" that is to say: my own view and evaluations of Roger are that he's mostly a positive thinker.